Well I have done so much since the last time that I have writen. I now have a job again oh and I fix that hole thing with joe. I found out that he did not hate me. Now thats over with.

So now what well I am hear at home and just hearing all these love songs. It kinda hurts. But oh well what are you going to do right. I am missing joe and bryson a little but who cares. Like my friend Iris tolled me theres someone out there for every one And you know what I am not looking any more mabe they will come to me.

Well I hope that all of you with your own relationships are doing good. I know that now and then there is some drama with relationships but I hope that all of you guys are doing ok with that 2. I know how nice it can be to have someone and I know how much work it is being with someone. but as long as every ones happy. I think thats the thing that I am missing , the hole having someone but being happy with them. because I shure do not miss the drama.

Well any ways I hope that you all are happy remember you only live once dont spend it unhappy take every moment and make it yours after all you are the star in your life make it a great one. no unhappiness no regrets after all you only live once.

STAR

Have you ever felt like you knew something but when you found out that you where right you just didnt want to be?

Well thats how I feel right now.Remember how I said that I was going to fix all the drama that I had well I did then When I thought every thing what good karma comes back to get me in the ass. I thought that bryson and I where friends again or thats what he had said untill I found out that He hated me Why I asked myself I had fixed the problem. Well not to long ago I saw Joe and he gave me the look of hate and I knew that he hated me. Well today I found out that that was true. I dont know what I did to him and the only thing I want to do is make it right but he does not want to talk to me. Man when I found out I could not stop crying. I know why cry for him well the thing is, he told me that he would always be there for me even if it was  not as a boyfriend he still would be there. So I thought that he ment it. So now what why do all these people hate me I know that I can be a bitch a diva at times and I am changing. I am really sorry for the way I was.

I know that I should be telling bryson and joe but I have tried it seems that all hope is lost. I dont think I am going to cry any more about them well about joe because if he cant see that I have changed then we should not be together. Well I thank you all for hearing my drama bye guys till latter.

STAR

do you ever feel like you are a falling star. It feels like every thing is going to go wrong. Well I feel like that A lot of times. I am going to write this because I no longer want to have issues with some people and make right what ever I have made wrong. I know that many of you know that I liked cassie well thats All over with I know that I could never be with her so I have let that go. She will still be a good friend to me.

Not to long ago sarah and I had a talk many of you know that she is the young lady from eastwood. I hope that we can stay very close even if her friends dont like me for reasons such as I dont call her.I think that shes a good girl.

I hate to say it but when I am wrong I dont like to say so. Well I have been very wrong about something. All I want is to have some one and this one guy was ready to be with me and I said no. All I talk about is how I would like to have a person in my life and for onces some one wants me and I kick him away.

It hite me today I think I am worth more than I think! I hated my life thinking that the only thing to do was hert myself. Well I dont need to do that any more. even If some one does not like me I would hope nothing for them but the best. To day the only thing that I could think about was joe!
I know Why? The truth is that I am so much better that what he treated me. and so many people tryed to tell me that berna and others. I didnt hear them.I didnt want to face what kind of person he was. Today he saw me and gave me the worst look that anyone could have ever given me. And still I had done nothing to him. I would call him to see that he was fine and he never picked up the phone. Why would I never let him go. because it's hard to let some one go after your sick and some one tells you they love you and they will always be there. or they take you out all the time and want to be with you even if it's for an ice cream. or tell you that you are the one that made them happy the day they graduated.

And the funny thing is that now I can move on and I am sorry for the way I was this year things will change I will change. I am sorry to all of you who I have done something to and I hope that you can forgive me. My life is starting over again all with good things. I would never change anything that I have ever done. from what I've heard the only way to solve a problem is to go though it. and the only way to start a life is to change the first.And issuses are what change a person, a person that changes cannot avoide the issue.

STAR

Wow love what the fuck is up with it. Do you think that You can fall for some one and fall for them hard? Well I did I love this one person so much that I would die for them, only this person dose not love me back even though they say they do. Well this person knows who they are.

I want to know if any of you have had this problem. Mabe its not love mabe I have lust for him but the thing is that I have known him for 3 years. I know that every thing will go good but I need help what should I deo with him?

I love him so much and even if he did something bad on saturday. All I ever wanted was to be with him. I dont know if thats the best thing for me now.

I hate going though this I dont like this at all. I am falling for some other girl but she is just a friend and I know that we could never be with each other unless she wanted me. I do wish that befor she graduates I can get that kiss I wanted.

 

Well It seems that I can never get away form all the drama. The guy that I love till death went out last night and the next day had red marks all over himself. I was going to ask him out but no I dont think that I should any more I dont think thats love. Why me why. Mabe I am not ment to be with any one.

See the one girl that I loved said no. The next guy just wants me there to have. and the last guy that I have known for 3 years and loved just fucked around.

I do know how to get away from all that drama and to be happy. The only way is to make my life the way that it was So I am not going to talk to any more guys, I am going to hang out with sami and not with all those other people that give me drama.

The only good thing that I have to look to is that I am moving out and I am going to san antonio for summer. I'll tak to you all latter bye guys mucho love lol.

STAR

So Yhea now I thinking about all the people that are going to graduate. I am going to miss all of those people. Its going to be strange going to the choir room and not having cassie to walk with. I am going to miss getting my back rub from shonna, and wow dose she have good hands. I am also going to miss my partner when ever I need help with a song, ron. Or hearing those high pich note that kim is so good at. And my crazy girls amanda, carolyn, and lauren. I am also going to miss janet, valery, vergina, mark, and last but not lest my helen( Danelle).

A qote ( I carry the wight of the world and now I am going to sread my wings and fly ) STAR

I hope that all of you guys have fun the last two week of school and I hope that you guys never forget all of us in choir that love you so much.

Well People think that I am just the ass of all asses and mabe there right. Well to those I really dont care but I am not that way. So now let me tell you all about the girl that I like so much. You know every morrning I do the same thing I go to the chior room and I walk with cassie. The funny thing about that is no matter how bad my day is going shes always there to make me happy. I love having her as a friend even if she and I will never get together. I really do love her and I would do any thing for her. But I dont really think that she knows that.

SO ok hows every one doing out there well I hope that you guys are doing just fine. But I am so not. I am pissed. That bitch in choir ( I'm not going to say who ) but went and said that she had a bad time on the trip and because of her we might not go on a trip next year. Just becase no one fucken likes her. If she fucks it up for us next year I will fucken get for that!!!!!!!!!!!

So any ways I think that I am going to move out of my house this summer. What do you guys think about that. I cant waite. The only thing is that I have to go and get a job and mabe someone to live with me to help pay the rent. Shit If I cant pay for it I will just have to sell my self. lol . Mabe I can do what that guy did and sell my self on e-bay. no just kidding. Well hey it was nice and I'll talk to you all latter by guys.

STAR

WEll it has been a long time since I have written but thats because I have had my own little drama with this guy named Bryson. Any ways hes an ass and I really dont want to be with him any more. So yhea whats up with every one I hope that all is well for all of you lj readers out there. Oh any ways I went on the chior trip ande it was the best time that I had. I hate to say that I really dont want to talk to cassie any more. I have wanted to be with her since I was a freshmen and I know that it's never going to happen I hate when her and mark are all over each other. But what ever. Theres some one That I like to and This person likes me to the only thing is that I waiting for them to ask me out but they have not and I dont know how much longer I can waite. But oh well thats the story of my life. Oh and another guy that I have been thinking of is rene Y I dont know but I have been thinking of him.

Mean while I wanted to tell all of you guys that I am so sorry for being a bitch. I know that I have changed alot and I lost alot of good freinds because of the way that I act. Like berna and Alice. Well I hope to hear from you soon bye

STAR

SO I know that I have been here for awhile but It's because My computer is stupid. Any ways let me catch you up on some thing I have meet this guy and he is Like no other. I like him alot. And the thing is that hes so nice to me and he always want to see me. Which I love. So his name is bryson. Hes so cute. And for the frist time in a long time I'am happy and not just for me but for my friends. Like Alice I know that she dose not like me any more but you know what I'am happy thats shes with Ron. Shes never had a guy to treat her right. And like All the people that i dont talk to any more I'am happy for them. Well I have to go but I hope that I can talk to you all latter bye
STAR

SO I know that I have not been writing In my lj but thats because I was getting it fixed. Well I was with joe on thursday and then friday I went to the op Well let me tell you about the fun that I had that night I meet this white guy. I liked him. So any ways I saw junior And I thought that He looked so cute I like him and the best thing is that He does not remined me of all the other fuckers that I have been with. So any ways Have nothing more to say because I really Dont want to tell any more.

Or but heres the thing I dont like waiting for joe I hate it. I Have to get over him. I know that He likes me but he just wont give us a chance. I thank him for being the nice guy that I always wanted him to be and I only hope that The next person his with He will treat them the way they should be treated.

Well THats all for now bye guys.

BYE
STAR

What to tell you all bout yesterday I was with joe. It was ok I guess. The thing that I was going to tell you that I like him the thing is that I know that He does like me but he will not give me a chance Y I dont know. Well I think that I have to get over him yes it was nice to be with him yesterday but I cant waite forever. And I really dont want to. Well any ways I am going out tonight to the o.p And I hope that I meet someone or at lest see Jouner. I think that I need to move on I mean thats what I have to do. I just wish that Joe would see what he has right in front of him. But oh well what ever.

So now Iam going to tell you all about rene. I like him I think I do and now that I think about it I dont know why7 we ever broke up. I mean we really didnt have any reason to. right. Or so I think. But shit happens.

So guys I am going to go now and I love you all wish me luck with these people and I 'll talk to youy all later bye

And to chika amanda. I love you girl and I think that I need to talk to you. I love you girl.
Bye
STAR

so what can I say about today I saw joe agian I so pushed him I really didnt want to see him anyways. I dont know what to do about him oh and another thing is that I got a little upset about that hole dream that I had along time ago. what the fuck do I do? I feel like I make ron very uncomfortable. I really dont want to make him feel like that so I'am going to stay away from him. so yhea thats what i have been going through. Right now I'am here at school with all of the old crue. Any ways i Think that i have something wrong with me because I think i like rene well mae i dont but i feel something. I know I dont like him because i still love some one, the only thing is that i know this guy does not love me so i really need to get over him. I know In time i will. I just wish that it was like in the movies where the guy tells you that they love you.
Bye
STAR

so what can I say about today I saw joe agian I so pushed him I really didnt want to see him anyways. I dont know what to do about him oh and another thing is that I got a little upset about that hole dream that I had along time ago. what the fuck do I do? I feel like I make ron very uncomfortable. I really dont want to make him feel like that so I'am going to stay away from him. so yhea thats what i have been going through. Right now I'am here at school with all of the old crue. Any ways i Think that i have something wrong with me because I think i like rene well mae i dont but i feel something. I know I dont like him because i still love some one, the only thing is that i know this guy does not love me so i really need to get over him. I know In time i will. I just wish that it was like in the movies where the guy tells you that they love you.
Bye
STAR

So plz can any body tell me why guys are so afraid a relationship. Theres this guy that I know likes me and I dont know why he cant just tell me what he feels. It's not just mw I have a freind that likes a guy and he cant tell her how he feels. If only this guy could just tell me that he liked me. I know that If he dosent soon that he will lose me forever. And it's not even that I just need to know how hw feels. Well I am not going to tell you guys how this guy is but he knows who hw is. Well I just hope that I can be happy with him or any other person that I can get.

I know that some of you all dont understand but it sucks wanting some one that dose not want you. And if you have ever liked some one than you know even if there bad you cant help it you still like them. I stay up thinking about this guy and I dnt know what to do. If you have ever gone though this plz write back and if you dont want to go though this ask what the signs are so that you wont. bye
STAR

Well guys let me tell you all about the week that I have had. Ok well after sami made me mad on friday I was happy to know that, that night I would be going to some club. So any ways latter that friday night I called my best freind sandra and asked her if she wanted to come with us. She said yes and then off we went. It was vergina and her sister, jakie , sandra and me. We got to the club after looking and getting lost on the way over there. Well what can i tell you it was fun. Louie and Chris have a dance crew and they where good. Then there was a fome party. I got wet and it was all good. Sandra and I where danceing all nasty and close but it's cool shes a freind. Well we all went home at about 1:00 all happy that we went out. Oh and we made plans that we are going to go to the op on friday night. I mean the friday thats comeing.

So heres some more good news. My friend frome yesleta knows this guy that I liked befor I meet joe. His name is david but I call him junior. I liked him alot. If I would have goon out with him I would have never been with joe. But well he had a boy freind. What know one knows is that I have been looking for this guy for about 7 months. He was the one for me. And know I am going to see him soon. I hope that he likes me agian because he was the best to me and I need some one to be good to me and not an ass. Well I am going to be happy for the rest of the week. Who new that some guy that was so good was right there for me. Well bye guys I love you all.

STAR

aaawwwwwwwwwwawwwwwwwwww The thing is that I dont learn. I hate it the last thing that I wanted was for people that dont know me to think bad of me. Ok so she (sarah) went and tolled every one about something that I didnt mean and people that dont know me think I'am an ass. well Then Iam going to be one. She tells me all these thing right just playing around or so she says. And she tells me really mean things. So then I tell her stupid thing and one time I tolled her that she was a rebound for joe. Yes I know that it was a bad thing to say but she would say thing to. Well now you guys can think bad of me and for all of you that dont know me and think bad of me, heres something that you can hate me for. FUCK OFF. well bye.

STAR

so let me tell you all about what I did today. I went to the mall with sarah. It was fun I like her well a little. The thing is that I was with her today but I was thinking about you know. Well any ways I went for her and I meet her mom and dad. It was ok. Well then we went to the mall and just went shoping. I liked it. After that We went to starbucks. She is really fun to be with. The only thing that I dont like is that I hate thinking about you know.well any ways I'll talk to you all latter because I have nothing more to say.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwawwwwwwwwwwI hate being mad and I hate crying for some guy. I thought that I was getting over him and then I had to see him. What the fuck Every time I think about him I wonder what the fuck i did or said for him to do what he did to me. I saw him today and He couldnt even say hi. I hate it every thing that I look at reminds me of him and every one tells me that I need to move on, but it's not that easy. I love him and I hate the fact that he told me he loved me and He just never talked to me. What the fuck do I have to do, so He can love me back. I hate it and now look at me just crying, crying because I am so stupid. Thats all I do now (It's my thing). When will I ever learn. And the wrost part of this hole thing is that After every thing I still love him. I mean I would die for him. And thats not me being crazy. Hes the one that dose not even care if he lives, but i would, i would die for him. But what oh what did I ever do but love him. I hate crying GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD. STOP THIS SHIT FROM HAPPENING! What did I do. Thats it I have hit rock bottom. And now what. Sorry guys I know that you all dont like me to talk about him but you have ever love someone then you know y I do.

bye for awhile,
michael :(

What am doing now is talk to that girl from eastwood. Shes the best . I really cant wait to ask this girl to be mine. She is really every thing I want right now. And thing is that she keeps me happy. Thats all that matters. no matter how much of a bitch she can be jk. but shes only a bitch when we play around. Well I'll keep you guys up to date about her. bye guys love.

star

so let me tell you guys about the trip. The day that we left we where all happy and we wanted to go so that we could get the hole thing over with. Well the bus ride was so much fun for once the people from hanks and eastwood where talking. There was this one guy that I was flerting with. any ways we got to hobbs new mexico and we ate there it was so much fun after that we left and spent about 30 min. going back home because the bus triver was lost. What the fuck is up with that. any ways we got to lubbick and then we went to some school to sing and then we came back and we went to the mall I spent about 54 dollars in about 5 min. After that we went back to the hotel an went to swim in the pool. then after that we went to sleep. oh and shona and kenny where playing poker with the band till 3:30 in the night. well any ways we woke up at about 5:00 over there and went to go eat. after that we went to the school where we would be trying out for state. well every one did ok on the singing part but on the sight reading it was bad the thing that we had to sing was hard. alot of people came out crying. that sucks. WEll I was hanging out with this one girl from eastwood and I liked her. Her name is sarah shes cool. Well any ways after being sad because non of us on are bus made it we went to eat and went to the mall again. I got more things and on the way home I was holding this girl that I like and We kissed it was cool. I like her alot. and the thing is that she knows that I am bi and she dose not even care. Well at lest I dont have to deal with some one who is going to lead me on anymore like you know. Well I'll see you guys latter and I'll tell you more latter bye guys.

STAR